THE DARK ROAD OF TRUTH

The darkened road of truth doth cry

The lighted road of illusion doth lie

The harder task for me I will choose

Knowing false friends I soon will lose

Moon and wind guide my shadowy day

For Osiris protects the sacred way

I travel through valley of iniquity and light

Bearing the truth of RA’s holy might

For many the truth will refuse to hear

The human heart is too filled with fear

For unrest stirs their troubled soul

Imagined happiness the hunted goal

The holy words of RA I take far afield

Heru is my sword, Isis my shield

Falter I may but want I shall never

For he is part of my soul forever

~Thy Daughter

Emergence

The moon changes season after season
In stasis I wait holding secret my reason
The stars are aligned; I now break the skin
Time to emerge. . .transformed again.

Weaving My New Universe - Creating Intentions

I can already feel the changes that 2012 will herald making themselves known now as the Winter Solstice surges closer. My time of quiet reflection, this time of no time, is coming to an end. I will always continue to honor and remember my ancestors.  As for my deities; I hope I show their glory and my love for them with every breath I take and every action public and private.  Reflection has brought me to the threshold of creation.  Like a super nova or stellar nursery new intentions swirl about me and are being formed.

As I continue to look into the mirror of me - I wonder if I have too much on my plate; I work daily at a full time job, I go to school full time, I write passionately almost desperately for the symbols aching to be made manifest into words surge inside me.  I also love weaving my gemstones, clay and metals into mystical creations.  I have received several new custom orders for jewelry, amulets and pendulums which I cannot wait to start upon.  AND now I am considering a new volunteer position.

I feel so many desires vying for a position – not first place but a position that gets addressed – work, school, writing, gemstones, social commitments, community commitments – spiritual, friends.  In no way am I feeling overwhelmed, just wishing I could get to all my desires, projects, ‘want-to’s’, obligations cleanly with enough time for each.

By bitter experience I know when I have all the time in the world (not working a day job) I will procrastinate my duties and obligations.  Sad to say I love to feel pushed to the limit or down to the wire.  I ‘feel’ I do my best work, and being a psych student I know this can be a faulty assessment to apply across the board; things fall through the cracks, are not done efficiently or need correcting.  But all in all I feel from my type A personality perspective that 9 out of 10 times I am quick, accurate and on target – self analyzing is not always spot on.

I also noticed that when I am not working my creativity dries up – my writing and my gemstone weaverie.   I firmly believe we need to see the outside world, interact with it daily in order to translate our view of said world, process the emotions these different environments evokes, digest our reactions or even to mythically weave what-if scenarios. I definitely believe we need a bar to set our interpretation against and a lined back-drop to color and fill it in with all the colors of the palette the deities have given us.

Of course all this rambling is taking me inevitably back to my intentions this coming year.  Schoolwork is always front and center and work.  Dovetailing the two is on my immediate horizon.  But my creative side is reaching for my writing – weaving new and old creations. I am currently working on two pieces I am hoping to submit soon.  I most definitely wish to fully explore my writing and expand my on volunteering.  These are the two items that my mind seems to turn back to time and again.  Not to mention my budding novel The Desert which still holds sway over my dreams, my subconscious, my waking life at work and home.

My intentions – shapeless shadows - swirling mists that have hovered on my horizon all year, are now congealing into a shape soon to manifest – brought in to very real being. - Weaving my new universe . . .

Confronting Life - Avoiding Mediocrity

Confronting new issues subjects, possibilities, alternate roads now.  When I say confronting I mean to challenge, to meet face to face, to brave, to dare, even to defy.  Sometimes we cannot just 'consider' new possibilities.  We need to feel and explore beyond 'weigh the pros and cons' attitude.  There are paths, ideas, events, subjects that must be confronted in defying manner.  To understand them, overcome them or engage wholeheartedly.

Especially in order to realize our potential, stretch our personal event horizon so that our very selves do not fall into the black hole of mediocrity.  I was joking with my beloved today, when he took me to lunch about mediocrity.  I was being extremely weird, saying outlandish things.  I kidded him about being a form of 'different' he has never seem.  He told me had seem it all.  Somehow as we were joking I feigned deep felt hurt and dramatically told him that he had trounced my desire to explore mediocrity as a mundane path for my soul. After we wiped away the tears from the deep belly laugh my wondrous mate in life told me I may be many things but never mediocre. Even if I tried to be mediocre I would make it my own, in true demon goddess fashion (explaining my mood swings when I desperately need to eat  and sleep).

Back to mediocrity, many times we are content to think about, mull over or consider new alternatives, unique situations or the unknown in an out of body, lets sit around drinking coffee and philosophize about this in the non-committal arena of 'what if-ing'.   I believe these new events, circumstance and situations should be met head on as if we are preparing for battle, or as if we have been dumped in a foreign country with no contacts.  Viewing these challenges as if our survival depends on it - and in a way it does.

Do we wish to just survive, hang on, scrape though - never rocking the boat afraid our neat little mediocre ordered life might be upset.  So we are turned over in the water - maybe we find the water is shallow or we float.  For me I love taking these challenges to find I can breather under water or I can fly.  So now I relish the challenge - I have taken up my torch and knapsack ready to engage these new possibilities in the aggressive manner that is me. Which means no whining today.

Cha'tima's Revenge

She sighed; all resolve gone with the exhaling of air.  She lay there all hope gone from her eyes.  The early morning was past, the Sun was making is majestic way to midday.  She lay still as one frozen, lost in thought, letting the desert taker her fear, her anger, her very thoughts.  At this moment she communed in perfect harmony with the more constant of her lovers, The Desert.  She knew and there was no regret now for what might have been, only sweet longing for memories she could not take and a simple wish to this giver of life and receiver of her spirit.

A shadow fell across the edge of her ledge.  Still she did not stir, only her eyes sought his.  His eyes so hard and resolute, eyes with no mercy or understanding of what he would carry forever clung to her eyes, limpid with no plea for clemency.  She knew as he swung the knife – the knife she had used, still stained with the blood of Ahote, he saw it in her eyes that she understood and forgave, too late as the hate filled swing was completing its vengeful arc did he realize.  It only took one blow; the desert received her life force greedily.  A sigh escaped her as her spirit acquiesced to the finality of this ruthless act.