I can already feel the changes that 2012 will herald making themselves known now as the Winter Solstice surges closer. My time of quiet reflection, this time of no time, is coming to an end. I will always continue to honor and remember my ancestors. As for my deities; I hope I show their glory and my love for them with every breath I take and every action public and private. Reflection has brought me to the threshold of creation. Like a super nova or stellar nursery new intentions swirl about me and are being formed.
As I continue to look into the mirror of me - I wonder if I have too much on my plate; I work daily at a full time job, I go to school full time, I write passionately almost desperately for the symbols aching to be made manifest into words surge inside me. I also love weaving my gemstones, clay and metals into mystical creations. I have received several new custom orders for jewelry, amulets and pendulums which I cannot wait to start upon. AND now I am considering a new volunteer position.
I feel so many desires vying for a position – not first place but a position that gets addressed – work, school, writing, gemstones, social commitments, community commitments – spiritual, friends. In no way am I feeling overwhelmed, just wishing I could get to all my desires, projects, ‘want-to’s’, obligations cleanly with enough time for each.
By bitter experience I know when I have all the time in the world (not working a day job) I will procrastinate my duties and obligations. Sad to say I love to feel pushed to the limit or down to the wire. I ‘feel’ I do my best work, and being a psych student I know this can be a faulty assessment to apply across the board; things fall through the cracks, are not done efficiently or need correcting. But all in all I feel from my type A personality perspective that 9 out of 10 times I am quick, accurate and on target – self analyzing is not always spot on.
I also noticed that when I am not working my creativity dries up – my writing and my gemstone weaverie. I firmly believe we need to see the outside world, interact with it daily in order to translate our view of said world, process the emotions these different environments evokes, digest our reactions or even to mythically weave what-if scenarios. I definitely believe we need a bar to set our interpretation against and a lined back-drop to color and fill it in with all the colors of the palette the deities have given us.
Of course all this rambling is taking me inevitably back to my intentions this coming year. Schoolwork is always front and center and work. Dovetailing the two is on my immediate horizon. But my creative side is reaching for my writing – weaving new and old creations. I am currently working on two pieces I am hoping to submit soon. I most definitely wish to fully explore my writing and expand my on volunteering. These are the two items that my mind seems to turn back to time and again. Not to mention my budding novel The Desert which still holds sway over my dreams, my subconscious, my waking life at work and home.
My intentions – shapeless shadows - swirling mists that have hovered on my horizon all year, are now congealing into a shape soon to manifest – brought in to very real being. - Weaving my new universe . . .
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